Apr 13: Day 60
Today: Bike, 5 minutes in Z1, 30 minutes Z2, 5 minutes Z1
- Bike, 5 minutes Z1, 15 minutes Z2, 15 minutes Z3, 15 minutes Z2, 5 minutes Z1
200 yd Z1, 400 yd Z3, 120″ rest, 200 yd Z3, 120″ rest, 200 yd Z1, cancelled due to lightning, 20 minutes bands
I nearly didn’t get out of bed today.
Last weekend was a high volume weekend that took me out of my normal routine. That was followed by a lot of stress and that binge Monday. The first two workouts of this week, Tuesday’s run and yesterday’s bike, continued the trend of hard workouts. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that it’s taking a physical and mental toll.
Then came last nights swim. I already was feeling unmotivated to go, and then the lightning came and took the pool away. I had to talk myself into doing the swim band workout for 20 minutes. Ironically, that 20 minutes was probably harder than the 20 minutes I would have done in the pool. As I was doing the workout, I had to stop several times, sweat rolling into my eyes, to catch my breath. This is pretty rare for me. I actually felt light-headed and a little dizzy and nauseous.
Then last night I woke up at 2am and never really got back to sleep. Too much stuff racing through my head, and I ended up not getting a solid rest.
So you can probably understand that when the alarm went off to get on the bike this morning, why my first decision was to hit the snooze button.
I lay there for the 9 minutes, trying to rationalize not doing the workout. “It may be the smart thing”, I told myself, because I clearly was at the edge of exhaustion. “Surely you can use the sleep more than the work right now”. I made the decision to go ahead and sleep the hour rather than mount up.
Then the snooze alarm went off, and I got up anyway and did the work.
It was miserable. I mean, not just not being motivated, but it was a relatively easy workout and I really struggled physically. I kept bargaining with myself “OK, I’ll do half”. Then halfway came. “OK, I’ll do 30 minutes”. “Maybe I’ll cut the cool-down”.
I did the whole thing.
Was it wise? I don’t know. I think it was because I was able to push through, ultimately, but if my fatigue doesn’t improve I am going to take an extra rest day this week. Again, it’s a long way to October and I want to get there healthy. But what I can say is I’m proud of myself for making it happen.
I know there are a lot of people who look at what I do, especially on days like this, and go “I just don’t have that kind of motivation” What I would tell them is that it’s not really motivation. I had no motivation at all today. Habit, determination and stubbornness were what carried the day instead. You don’t HAVE to have intrinsic motivation every single day to accomplish a goal like this. It’s not going to happen. However, you need the discipline to form the habit, and the habit will give you the stubbornness to do it anyway. You don’t have to love doing this stuff every single day. You just have to be able to make it happen anyway on most days.
If that makes sense anyway. Cheers everyone!