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Survival Mode

July 30, Day 168

Weekend workouts:

Swims 3000y: 250 yd Z1, 5×500 yd Z2, 250 yd Z1
Bike 3 hours: 10 minutes Z1, 15 minutes Z2, 10 x (1 minute Z5 uphill or simulated/2 minutes Z1), 120 minutes Z2, 5 minutes Z1
Run 1 hour, 50 min: 5 minutes in Z1, 90 minutes Z2, 5 minutes Z1


No other way to describe it, I am in survival mode.

Honestly it isn’t the workouts. The workouts are fine.  I crushed all 3 big workouts this weekend, each of which was a new high for distance on the program.  That will continue to grow, but I feel ready for it.  If anything, the workouts are a welcome distraction from work.  Because work sucks right now.

The knives are out.  No other way to say it.  I start officially tomorrow but moved into my office on Friday.   Most people are treating me as the Director already.  I’ve already had 4 approach me with issues with my staff.  I’ve already had staff who knew me as a coworker demonstrate they aren’t ready to have me as a supervisor.  I’ve already had at least 5 meetings where people look me directly in the eye and say “your department needs to do this”.  Oh, and there’s the ACTUAL WORK OF THE JOB TO DO, which is voluminous.

And I don’t even officially have the job until tomorrow.  I find it hysterical all the promises of easing me in.  If this is easing me in, I’d hate to see what throwing me to the wolves might look like.

So yeah.  Working out is kind of a respite right now from the daggers, the hate, the anger, the frustration, and the aggressive expectations of CHANGE IT NOW!  I am confident I can do this, I’ve done it before.  Many times.  But it’s still exhausting knowing I’m coming into a hostile environment.  It doesn’t even have to be that way, because I want only the best for that staff and our department and our future success, but that’s the way people around me are approaching it.

It’s….actually really sad.  So much opportunity, and so many people can’t see beyond themselves.

All that said I’m actually glad to have 3+ hour workouts to just lose myself in.  I get my best ideas during those times, and I’ve recharged myself with optimism over the weekend.  Hopefully people don’t beat the optimism out of me by 5PM tomorrow.

In any event, on I go.  11 weeks left.  I can do this.  I can do all of it.  I believe.



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